PAYING THE PRICE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

First, let me congratulate you over your decision to become man and wife. Aside salvation decision, marriage is one of the greatest decisions anyone can make.

Marriage is status conferral. It confers on you the status of honourability (Hebrews 13:4) and responsibility. The moment you are married, society considers you an honourable person. Your status of as a man or woman changes. When you meet the man, you would ask, “How is Madam?” and when you meet the woman you would ask, “How is Oga?” You are now “Oga” and “Madam.”

No matter how highly placed you are, if you are not married, you are not considered “responsible.” No matter how poor you are, the moment you are married you are considered “responsible.”         

Aside your decision to marry is your decision of who to marry. Who you marry is critical because it will determine what your life on earth and in eternity will be. Your life can be made a living hell on this plane of existence or a foretaste of Heaven on earth. Socrates once advised:

By all means marry. If you get a good wife (husband) twice blessed you will be; if you get a bad wife (husband) you will become a philosopher.    

Today, I want to speak to you on what I captioned: Paying the Price for a Successful Marriage. It is said that you cannot make an omelet without breaking an egg. You want to eat an omelet? You have to sacrifice at least an egg or two.

For every PRIZE there is a PRICE. Marriage is the only institution you do not graduate from until you die. In marriage, you are a student for life. Some people think that marriage is all dovy: we do not quarrel, we love ourselves, etcetera. It is all a lie. You have to work on your marriage to make it work.

To make your marriage work, first:

1. BURN THE BRIDGES

“So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant” (I Kings 19:21).

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).

In marriage, a new relationship is created. Previous relationships become inconsequential. All admirers and admirees should cease. Your parents should now play only advisory roles, not directors.  

2. AVOID COMPARISONS

^“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (II Corinthians 10:12)

Avoid comparing your wife to your mother and avoid comparing your husband to your father. Do not compare each other to just about anyone. To do so is to hurt and destroy your union.  

Do not compare your friends’ wives to your wife and do not compare your friends’ husbands to your husband. Do not compare your marriage or family to another’s.    

3. NOURISH AND CHERISH

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29).

Marriage is not a restaurant where we are called to be served, but to serve. One of the duties of man and woman in marriage is to feed each other.

Feed to be fed.

Many people come into marriage with “Entitlement mentality” in which they expect to enjoy certain privileges. Men have their expectations while women have theirs.

It takes sacrifices for a couple to Nourish each other. Nourishing your spouse should be a holistic affair: physically, emotionally and psychologically. You have to forget yourself for your Significant Other.   

4. AVOID “STOLEN WATER”

“Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.” (Proverbs 9:17-18).

Marital fidelity is not a subject to trifle with. It is a grave matter. It is not only a sin against your spouse, but against God, society and yourself.

Stolen waters may be sweet and bread eaten in secret may be pleasant, but know that death is the end.   

5. BEAR WITH EACH OTHER’S WEAKNESSES

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2).

One of the mistakes we often make in marriage is to think that the person we marry is an angel, not a human being. Even angels have their weaknesses.

In marriage, you marry both assets (strengths) and liabilities (weaknesses).

CONCLUSION

Woman, make RESPECT for your husband the pivot of your relationship with him. (Ephesians 5:22).

Man, make love for your wife the pivot of your relationship with her (Ephesians 5:25).

Avoid anything that will make you to keep secrets from each other.