VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTEOUS

“For I know that my Redeemer and Vindicator lives, And at the last He will take His stand upon the earth.”– Job 19:25 (Amplified Bible).

 

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment shalt be condemned. “This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their VINDICATION is of me,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 54:17

 

One of the most outstanding realities of the reality we are in as God’s servants and children is that God is not forgetful and that He remembers. Hebrews 6:10 says:

“God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which you have showed toward His Name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and still ministers.”

God rewards faithfulness. When you serve God, He will reward and vindicate you. He never forsakes His own. No matter what you go through in life, God will always stand with you at the end. He will always remember the various things you have done. This is why Malachi 3:16 is so important in the lives of God’s people:  

Then those who feared the LORD spoke often one to another and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who feared the LORD, and who thought upon His Name.

Child of God, there is a “Book of Remembrance.” This reality should give you hope. Let this reality sink into your subconscious and let it be the fuel that powers your faith and service to God and humanity. Let it fill you with hope and great expectations. When the chips are down, the Book of Remembrance comes to the fore.

The book of Esther tells us that when some people say that time has come for your burial, God would say it is your wedding day. Mordecai was a righteous man who served God and His people. All the good things he did were recorded, but not rewarded at the time he did them. Time went by and when an enemy of God and His people rose up to destroy, God had to cause the king to refer to the “Book of Records” or Book of Remembrance. Esther 6:1-12 tells us:    

On that night the king could not sleep, and he commanded that the Book of Records of the chronicles and that it be read to him. And it was found written, that Mordecai had told of Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king's chamberlains, the keepers of the door, who sought to lay hand on king Ahasuerus. When the king heard this, he asked: “What honour and dignity have been done to Mordecai for this?” The king's servants who ministered to him answered, “Nothing has been done for him.” The king asked, “Who is in the court?” Now, Haman had come into the outward court of the king's palace, to speak to the king to hang Mordecai on the gallows that he had prepared for him. The king's servants answered, “Behold, Haman stands in the court.” The king said, “Let him come in.” So, Haman came in. The king said to him, “What shall be done to the man whom the king delights to honour?” Now, Haman thought in his heart, “To whom would the king delight to do honour more than to myself?” So, Haman answered the king, “For the man whom the king delights to honour, Let the royal apparel be brought which the king use to wear, and the horse that the king rides upon, and the royal crown which he places on his head. Let this royal regalia and horse be delivered to the hands of one of the king's most noble princes, that they may array the man with whom the king delights to honour, and make him ride on horseback through the streets of the city, and proclaim before him, ‘This is how it should be done to the man whom the king delights to honour!’” Then the king said to Haman, “Make haste, and take the royal regalia and the horse, as you have said, and do even so to Mordecai, the Jew, who sits at the king's gate: let nothing fail of all that you have spoken.” Then Haman took the royal regalia and the horse, and decorated Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the streets of the city, and proclaimed: ‘This shall be done to the man whom the king delights to honour!” After this Mordecai returned to the king's gate, but Haman ran hastily to his house mourning, having his head covered in shame.

This is a vindication of the righteous. I remember preaching a sermon titled, “My Wedding, Their Funeral.” That message revolved around Mordecai and Haman. I also preached another sermon titled, “Satanic Interference, Divine Intervention.” When you serve God, whenever the enemy interferes in your life and activities, God will always intervene. Isaiah 59:19 says:

“…When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.”    

When push comes to shove, the Book of Remembrance will become your last resort. With a death verdict hanging on King Hezekiah, he resorted to beckon on God and requested Him to go back to His Records. II Kings 20:1-7 tells us:

In those days Hezekiah was sick to the point of death. And Prophet Isaiah, the son of Amoz came to him, and said, “Thus says the LORD, ‘Set your house in order because it time for you to die, not to live.’” Then he turned his face to the wall, and prayed to the LORD, saying, ‘I beseech thee, O LORD, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight.’ And Hezekiah wept sore. And it came to pass that before Isaiah could go out into the middle court, that the LORD said to him, “Go back to Hezekiah, the captain of my people and say to him, ‘Thus says the LORD, the God of David, your father, “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears: behold, I will heal you: on the third day you shall go up to the house of the LORD. I will add fifteen years to your days and I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria and I will defend this city for Mine own sake, and for my servant David's sake.” And Isaiah said, ‘Take a lump of figs’. They did as he had instructed and laid it on the boil, and he recovered.   

God Remembers. He does not forget and will never forget. When He goes into His Book of Records, He will see the things we have done and then reward us accordingly.

When King Hezekiah called on God and said, “…remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight’ (II Kings 20:3), God checked His Records and saw that what Hezekiah said was true. He then went on to restore his health and extend his life by fifteen more years.  

THE RIGHTEOUS AND HIS/HER VINDICATION

King David who has been described variously as, “The Sweet Psalmist of Israel” (II Samuel 23:1) and a “Man after God’s Heart” (Acts 13:22) was a man who served God. At Psalms 37:25 and 27, he said:

I have been young, and now I am old, yet, I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread….Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.

It pays to be righteous. However, the life of a righteous person on this plane of existence is not an easy one. More often than not, it is filled with thorns and thistles. Psalms 34:19 says:

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

The righteous are not immune to the vagaries of life. In fact, the world is against the righteous. It makes living on this plane of existence a difficult experience. At II Peter 2:7-8 we read:

“…and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the depraved conduct of the lawless (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard) - if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials and to hold the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgment.” (NIV)

As a righteous person, the world is not out to help you, but to frustrate you. If you expect the world to be sympathetic to you and to your cause, you are mistaken. The goal of this world is to asphyxiate your faith and make you cow-tow to their whims. Often, what the world presents to the righteous are troubles. At John 16:33 Jesus said:     

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In the game plan of the world, if you do not subscribe to its ideals, you would be shown troubles to make you bend or break. In fact, the more righteous you are the more likely your troubles. II Timothy 3:12-14 says:

“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it.”

JOB AND THE VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTEOUS 

At Job 19:25, Job said: “For I know that my Redeemer and Vindicator lives, and at the last He will take His stand upon the earth” (Amplified Bible). 

If there was (and is) a man who had (or has) suffered, Job was (is) the man. Are you a Job or Jobella? Are you caught in the web of difficulties and situations that threaten your faith and make life and living challenging? If you are, you need some encouragement from Job, a man who had travelled that route before. 

There is no doubt that Job was a righteous man. Job 1:1 says: 

“In the land of Uz, there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.” 

Everything was working out for Job: a wonderful family, a prosperous business life and a burgeoning public image. Life had never been better. Job 1:2-3 tells us of the kind of life that defined Job’s existence: 

He had seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.  

Job had an ideal life. He was soaring with the Heavenlies until the enemy decided to interfere in his life. Job 1:6-12 says: 

One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.” The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord. 

Job’s troubles stem from the fact that he was righteous. The contest between God and Satan was whether Job was blessed because he feared God or he feared God because he was blessed. God’s position was “I blessed Job because he feared Me.” Satan’s position was, “No, he fears you because you blessed him. Therefore, take his blessings away and he will curse you.” At Job 2:4-5, Satan said: 

“Skin for skin! ... A man will give all he has for his own life. But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.” 

God accepted Satan’s challenge and that was the genesis of Job’s tortuous life of pains, losses, accusations, defense and ultimately triumph. At Job 2:6-7 we read:     

“The Lord said to Satan, ‘Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.’ So, Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.” 

Most times, Satan interferes in our lives, seeking to counterbalance us. At Luke 22:31-32 God’s Word says: 

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” 

Has Satan visited you lately? Is your business, health, education, relationship, marriage or career under attack? When adversity hits, life can become devastating. In his book, Iacocca: An Autobiography (1984), Lee Iacocca, former President of Ford Motors wrote: 

“When I became President of Ford Motors, I was on top of the world. But then fate said to me: “Wait. We are not finished with you. Now you’re going to find out what it feels like to get kicked off Mt. Everest!” … It was gut-wrenching.’ 

I do not know how you feel and how life treats you. For Job, it was not palatable. When he came crashing, his wife told him, “Curse God and die” (Job 2:9). His three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar spent the entire Chapters 4 through to Chapter 23 to reason with him. He was accused of wrong doing. He was told that his wrongdoing was the reason for the evil that befell him. Fact is, it is not sin that is responsible for the sufferings of Christians, but Satan. If sin is the reason, why then do sinners prosper? Psalms 73:1-7 says: 

How good God is to Israel - to those whose hearts are pure. But as for me, I came so close to the edge of the cliff! My feet were slipping and I was almost gone. For I was envious of the prosperity of the proud and wicked. Yes, all through life their road is smooth!  They grow sleek and fat. They aren’t always in trouble and plagued with problems like everyone else, so their pride sparkles like a jeweled necklace, and their clothing is woven of cruelty! These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for! (The Living Bible) 

Most times those who are not privy to the real causes of your life’s challenges would sit back to make uncomplimentary remarks. They may accuse you of unfaithfulness, and all manner of ills. Those who come to sympathize with you may end up tormenting you by their words and lack of understanding. This was what happened to Job. His friends lacked empathy and insight. Their words stung like arrows. Because of this he called them “Miserable comforters.” At Job 16:2, Job said:  

“I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you!” 

In spite of the challenges he faced, Job resolved not to give up and to give in. At Job 13:15 he expressed implicit faith in God to see him through his challenges: “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him....” At Job 23:10 he said, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Why? At Job 19:25 he said: 

“For I know that my Redeemer and Vindicator lives, And at the last He will take His stand upon the earth.” – Job 19:25 (Amplified Bible). 

Bill and Gloria L Gaither song, “Because He lives” has gladdened the hearts of many and spoken peace to millions of souls. It says: 

“Because he lives I can face tomorrow

Because he lives all fear is gone

Because I know, I know he holds the future

And life is worth the living just because he lives.”

 

Your Vindicator lives! Because He lives, you can face whatever challenges that come your way and become victorious.

 

In the course of Job’s trials and tribulations, we can safely say that he saw ninety-nine and that hundred was nothing to him. He went through fire and water experiences. In the end, God vindicated him. Job 42:10-17 tells us that God restored to Job everything he had lost:

 

The Lord restored the fortunes of Job …, and gave him twice as much as he had before. Then all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before came to him, and they ate bread with him in his house; and they consoled him and comforted him over all the (distressing) adversities that the Lord had brought on him. And each one gave him a piece of money, and each a ring of gold. And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had seven sons and three daughters. And he called the name of the first [daughter] Jemimah, and the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-happuch. In all the land there were found no women so fair as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers. After this, Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons and his grandsons, four generations. So Job died, an old man and full of days. (Amplified Bible).

 

I do not know what you are passing through. I do not know what life is for you as we speak. I do not know what you have lost. Whatever and, however, God’s Word says that God will restore to you whatever the cankerworms and grasshoppers have eaten in your life.  At Joel 2:25, God’s Word says:

 

… “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts….”

 

Job has become for us an example that God vindicates the righteous. James 5:10-11 says:

 

Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. (NIV)

WHAT TO DO WHEN LIFE IS UNFAIR

 

Know That You Are Not Alone

Challenges are universal. The things we go through in life are not peculiar to us, that is, we are not the only ones going through such situations. I Peter 5:9 says: 

“Whom resist steadfast in the Faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren who are in the world. But the God of all grace, Who has called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that you have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you.” 

Challenges Help To Develop Our Characters

Seneca observed that as “Fire tests gold, suffering tests brave men.” For God to make you, He may need to break you. If you are not breakable, then you are not malleable. The refinements you go through in life are what God uses to make you into who and what He wants you to be. Therefore, if He cannot break you, He cannot make use of you. 

Because we are all diamonds in the rough, Romans 5:3-4 explains the processes through which God refines us: 

”And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also knowing that tribulation works patience and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope makes not ashamed….” 

Maturity is one attribute of character. Character is not learnt in school or through reading books, but by personal experiences. Experiences are what toughens character. This, perhaps was what informed Lynsay Sands to say: 

“Time is not the great teacher. Experience is. A man may live a whole life, but if he never leaves his home to experience that life, he dies knowing nothing. A mere child who has suffered and lived can be the wiser of the two.”         

Kahlil Gibran observed, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” This is why God, at Isaiah 48:10, says: “I have purified you not with silver or gold but through the fires of affliction.” Orson F. Whitney observed: 

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father…in heaven.” 

As far as life is concerned, we grow through what we go through. 

Be Patient

You need patience. At Luke 21:19 Jesus says, “In your patience possess your soul.” One of the most powerful tools you need to weather storms in your life is patience. Hebrews 10:35-37 enjoins: 

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 

To Speak To Yourself

No one understands us better than ourselves. When faced with difficult situations, learn to speak to yourself. This was what the Psalmist did. At Psalm 42:5, he asked himself: 

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? and why art you disquieted in me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him for the help of His countenance.”    

Remember That What Has A Beginning Has An End

Someone remarked that one of his favourite Bible passages is, “… and it came to pass….” Psalm 30:5 assures: 

“… weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” 

CONCLUSION

God will always vindicate the righteous. Who you are and what you are passing through now do not in any way represent who you are and what you will be tomorrow. God’s Word assures us that even though the present may be hard and challenging, tomorrow will be better. At John 16: 22 Jesus says, 

“Now, you have sorrow, but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man takes from you.” 

May God continue to strengthen us in our daily walks with Him in Jesus’ Name!

_________________________________

 Hilary Johnson Chukwuma Chukwurah (Evangelist) is an itinerant minister of the Word. He operates a professional editing and publishing firm. He can be reached via E-mail: hilaryjohnsonc@gmail.com. Phone: 0803 959 6919.  

 

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE : RIGHTS AND IDOLS

 

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both advanced in years. – Luke 1:5-7 (New American Standard Bible).

 

INTRODUCTION

When Zachariah sought a life companion, he did not go to one of his religious neighbours to seek their daughter’s hands in marriage. He went to Aaron’s house to seek out a wife. As a child of God who was conscious of making Heaven, he knew he needed someone of like convictions. In spite of the challenges that dotted their paths in life, they remained faithful to God and to each other. Through their marriage, God raised the greatest Prophet, the Forerunner of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ – his name was John the Baptizer!   

“Christian Marriage: Rights and Idols” is the topic assigned to me.  The subject of marriage is central to our earthly happiness and eternal well-being. If there is anything that should be of concern to us, it is marriage.       

By simple definition, marriage is a confluence - the flowing together of two heart streams to form one (Genesis 2:20-24). Marriage is the union of two hearts. It is a covenant relationship that a man and a woman enter into for life (Malachi 2:14b; Matthew 19:5-6). It is not something one gets into and gets out of easily. It is a life-long business.     

MARRIAGE CAN MAKE OR MAR YOU

Marriage is beautiful, exciting and honourable. However, it can become a great source of worry if you find yourself with the wrong mate. Socrates, a notable Greek philosopher wrote, 

“By all means marry, for if you get a good wife (or husband), twice blessed you will be; if you get a bad wife (or husband), you will become a philosopher.” 

God does not want us to become philosophers. He wants us to enjoy our marriages. Kumuyi (1990:1) observed that “Marriage is easy to get into but very difficult to get out of.” He also observed that most times “those who rush into marriage get crushed by it.” 

We must have heard it said repeatedly that “Love is blind.” Yea, love may be blind, but “Marriage is a great eye opener.” 

Marriage is beyond the act of just getting married, it is a life-long relationship between a man and a woman. A mistake in who you marry is one that is not easily remedied. This is the reason why extreme caution should be exercised in choosing who to marry. Again, Kumuyi (1990:1) remarked: 

“Marriage transcends the thrills and frills of being in love. It goes beyond merely dreaming of a happy home. Marriage is a life-long issue. Marital happiness and fulfillment can transform your days on earth into a sort of heavenly bliss. In the same vein, marital failure will lead to heartaches, incessant tears, sighing and can reduce you into a traveler who finds himself in a distant wasteland, trackless, guideless and lost. As a Christian who is contemplating getting married you should be watchful because the devil knows your needs. For that reason he will try to bring up counterfeits across your way. Your flesh will also rise up many times and recommend what your spirit knows you should not have, in a grand conspiracy of the flesh against your spirit to ruin you.

 

MARRIAGE: ITS RIGHTS  

For every man, there is a woman and for every woman, there is a man. Marriage is for everyone, but not everyone is for marriage. Everyone has the right to desire and to be married. However, desire does not translate to reality. To desire is one thing but to achieve what you desire is another thing. 

The marriage you desire does not necessarily translate to the marriage you deserve. “He who wants to be a friend must himself be friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). In other words, he who wants to marry a princess must himself be a prince. 

Marriage requires some levels of preparation: physical, emotional/psychological, spiritual and financial. In marriage, Physics leads to Chemistry, and both lead to Biology. When Biology occurs, Economics would come in followed by Agricultural Science, Accountancy, etcetera. Therefore, to be married, you need to factor in all the factorables and variables. You must be prepared. Some of the areas you need to be prepared are:  

Physical Preparation

Because marriage is not for ‘boys’ and ‘girls,’ there should be elements of physical preparation. Marriage is for ‘adults’- those who are physically mature. Before Adam and Eve were married by God, the Garden of Eden had been built and furnished. 

No one in his/her right mind goes into marriage without physical preparation. Are you done with school? Do you have a compelling or repelling personality? What kind of persons do you attract to yourself?” At Matthew 24:28, Jesus said, “Where a carcass is there the eagles will gather.”   

Emotional/Psychological Preparation

Marriage transcends the thrills and frills of being in love. If you are not emotionally mature, you will buckle under the weight of marriage. Do you have the shock absorber needed to sustain a union? One of the first emotional challenges you are likely to encounter as a married person is known as “Crisis of confidence.” This is usually a period of adjustments.  In an article, “Put the touch of romance back into your marriage,” Tayo Salami (2010:33) wrote: 

The root of marital disenchantment are usually exposed shortly after marriage, that is when you would know each other’s behaviour and some things you have taken as minor when you were in courtship would be seen as a big offence. In fact, the adjustment period reveals the other’s imperfections and rudeness replaces romance. Each spouse defends his or her territory, and the one union reverts to two identities, as the fantasy of romantic oneness begins to fade. Requests become demands. Marital disharmony takes over and negative actions, left unchecked, can spell disaster for the couple.

 Are you a ‘Daddy’s girl’ or ‘Mummy’s boy’? Are you emotionally ready to “Leave and Cleave” (Genesis 2:24)? Are you ready to lose your independence? You must appreciate the fact that Marriage is when a man loses his Bachelor’s degree and a woman her Master’s degree.    

Spiritual Preparation

Marriage is beyond physical. It calls for spiritual responsibilities. As a married person, you will one day become a father or mother. Parenting is a physical act with spiritual responsibility. God calls you into the marital union with an ultimate goal – raising godly children! (Malachi 2:15). One day you will be required to give account of your children to God (Hebrews 2:13b).  

 Are you prepared to fulfil your marital vows of faithfulness to God and to your spouse, aware that God is the Witness between you and your spouse (Malachi 2:14). Marital faithfulness is not an option, it is an imperative.          

Financial Preparation

How financially prepared are you to enter into marriage? Do you have a steady source of income? What skills do you have? Can you maintain a woman/man? 

Marriage is not wishful thinking. It comes with responsibilities, which are centrally financial. Foods will be bought and cooked; rents will be paid. Money will be spent on a variety of needs. How the money to meet these needs will be generated remains a huge question, which you must answer. 

Love is like a well-cooked soup, which requires constant warming.  Financial preparation is a pointer to how ready you are to settle down.

One of the pointers to lack of financial preparation is when those seeking to be married go cap-in-hand soliciting for resources to execute one aspect of their marital rites or the other.      

Do You Have The Right Attitude?

Attitude is everything. In most cases, attitude is more important than who you know and what you have. A good attitude is more valuable and powerful than natural talents. A beautiful woman with a poor attitude would never make a good spouse. A wealthy man with a negative attitude will never make a good spouse. At Proverbs 11:12, God’s Word says: 

As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who is without discretion (her lack of character mocks her beauty) - Amplified Bible   

Remember that it was Rebecca’s attitude towards Abraham’s emissary that marked her out as the woman God had appointed for Isaac. While other girls were coming to fetch water from a well without concern for the stranger, Rebecca’s attitude marked her out (Genesis 24:10-28). 

Whether you are a male or female, attitude is key. 

MARRIAGE: ITS IDOLS

What is an idol? Ezekiel 14:1 – 5 provides an insight into what an idol is all about: 

Now some of the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me. And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of at all by them? Therefore speak to them, and say, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Everyone of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols, that I may seize the house of Israel by their hearts, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols.’ ” (NKJV)

 

Idol in this context does not refer to molten images that people bow to in worship. It refers to preconceived ideas or notions that people have – the things you idolize. What then are these idols? 

Marriage Is The Be-All-And-End-All

Some people think that marriage is the ultimate in life. They have so idolized marriage as if it is the only thing God has created them to do. They act as if the world has crumbled under their feet because they are not married. 

Do not kill yourself because you are not yet married. True happiness in life does not revolve around marriage. There are millions who are married today, but would wish that they never married. That a person is married does not mean he/she is happy. Marriage is not the ultimate. I Corinthians 7: 29-34 says: 

I tell you this, brothers, the time is growing short. From now on, let those who have wives behave as if they had none, and the mourners as if they were not mourning and the joyful as if they do not rejoice; those who purchase as if they were not possessors, and those who use the world as if they had no use for it, because the present world order is passing away. I would not have you worried. The single person is concerned with the Lord’s affairs, how to please the Lord, but the married person is concerned with things of the world, how to please his wife; he has divided interests. The unmarried woman or the virgin is interested in the Lord’s affairs, that she may be dedicated to him in body and spirit; but the married woman is concerned with things of the world, how she may please her husband.  (Revised Berkeley Version) 

Do not allow what is temporal to destroy that which is eternal. Marriage is temporal, but your soul is eternal. 

I Must Taste Before I Marry (Sex Before Marriage)

I read of a girl who spoke with passion over “Taste before I marry.” She said she would not marry a man she had not tasted to know how good he was in bed. In an interview Sonia Asomugha (a.k.a Soblinkx) granted Vanguard Newspaper on March 5, 2016 she said:  

Seriously, I want to have a taste of who I will be getting married to. I just want to know what it feels like with him. I am sure, of all the girls you have had sex with, there is this one person that it’s always nice with. The same thing applies to girls. A girl might have sex with five guys, but there will be this one person she enjoys it with.  

Aside the dangers of violating God’s Word and jeopardizing your soul when you engage in premarital sexual relationships, the dangers of I Must Taste Before I Marry is that you are laying a terrible foundation – foundations of marital mistrust for your marriage. 

In research findings on “Benefits in Delaying Sex until Marriage” published on Journal of Family Psychology (December 27, 2010) written by Bill Hendrick indicate: 

It may be common for couples to have sex before marriage, but a new study shows that couples who wait until marriage are happier with the quality of sex than couples who have intercourse before their vows. What’s more, couples who delay sex until their wedding night have more stable and happier marriages than couples who have premarital sex.

 

The study involved 2,035 married participants in an online assessment of marriage called “RELATE.” According to the study, people who waited until marriage:

• rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex.

• rated relationship stability as 22% higher.

• rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher.

It concludes by saying: the benefits were about half as strong for couples who became sexually active later in their relationships but before marriage. 

Marriage Celebrations

Some people believe that if they do not celebrate their marriage, they are not married. There must be an elaborate traditional and white wedding. How many persons were in attendance when a wife was taken for Abraham’s son (Genesis 24:10-28)? 

What Rule Book says that marriage should be “celebrated,” and in a grand manner, too? What is wrong in marrying within your budget surrounded by few brethren, family and friends?   

You must not break a bank to marry. Marriage can be organized or celebrated in a quiet and low-key manner. 

Dating and Courtship

While Dating is not Scriptural, Courtship is. At Matthew 1:18 -20, 25 we read: 

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. …. but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.

 

Dating leads to co-habitation. In most cases while Dating, couples are already enjoying the appurtenances of marriage before marriage while in Courtship, couples are seeking to know each other.

 

Dating tries to answer the question, “How can I find the one who will make me happy?” Courtship strives to answer the question, “How can I honor God and discern His direction regarding my life partner?”

 

In a dating relationship, self-gratification is normally the basis of the relationship, but in Courtship it is not. In a dating relationship, there is little if any accountability, but in Courtship there is accountability to parents and mentors.

 

Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other. Under the protection, guidance, and blessing of parents or mentors, the couple concentrates on developing a deep friendship that could lead to marriage, as they discern their readiness for marriage and God’s timing for their marriage. (Proverbs 3:5–7). 

NEED TO MARRY IN THE LORD

At I Corinthians 7:39 we read, “….she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” This was an injunction to widows who wished to remarry. If this kind of statement was made to widows, you can imagine what is expected of young people who desire to marry.   

A believer has no business getting into any marital relationship with an “unbeliever”; a child of God has no business with someone who is not a child of God. A regenerate soul and an unregenerate soul should have no business going into marriage. If you do, it would not take you long to realize that you have made one of the worst mistakes of your life. Responding to the post, “Marriage Idolatry: Exposing The Christian Version of Consent Culture” by Bridget Eileen Rivera, Darla Meeks wrote: 

I have been divorced for 10 years …. I divorced my husband who is not a Christian because he was unfaithful to me, and for no other reason. I lived with him for 17 years, forgiving him over and over for his adulteries after every false promise that he would stop. Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 tell us that unchastity is the only valid reason for divorce, and I took that seriously. The last time he refused to go to counseling, I made my mind up it was time for us to part company, and I knew in my heart that the Lord was behind me on it. I told my husband that we both had to admit that he wasn’t happy with one woman, and we both did. It was a relatively peaceful divorce, certainly compared to others.

(https://www.meditationsofatravelingnun.com/marriage-idolatry-exposing-the-christian-version-of-consent-culture/) 

How can this woman who was a believer expect an unbeliever husband to behave like a believer when he is not?   

Do not enter into marital relationship with an unbeliever. You may be in “love” and on Cloud Nine - be warned: Love may be blind, BUT marriage is certainly an eye opener. 

Do not marry anyone whom you do not share a common religious faith with. Those who did have only lived to regret their actions. In his book, God Owns My Business, Stanley Tam (1969:42) wrote: 

“... there just isn’t any better basis for a marriage than two people who, in addition to being physically attracted to each other, have an avowed determination to put Christ first in their lives.”   

 Writing on “How Can I Know Who to Marry?”  Kurt De Haan (1998:5) observed: 

Oil and water do not mix. A mouse and a boa constrictor would not make the best of friends. A person with a paralyzing fear of heights would not be a wise choice as a climbing partner to scale the slopes of Mount Everest. A radical Communist would not be a good political running mate for a committed Capitalist. A huskie and a dachshund would not work well together as sled dogs in the Alaskan wilderness. And a follower of Christ would not make a good marriage match with a nonbeliever.  

Who you pair with in marriage and how compatible you are to each other will go a long way to define how your relationship in the present will shape your future. As Homer rightly observed: 

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye-to-eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.   

Marriage is not something you should dabble blindly into. Do not go into marriage with a person who will not complement you and help you to become a better version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, socially and eternally. 

Do not be deceived – the person you marry has a lot to do with your happiness, spirituality and eternal well-being. To graphically illustrate the fact that the person you marry has a lot to do with your spirituality and eternal well-being, let us take a look at some couples we find in the Bible:

1. Samson’s choice of a wife (against all reasoning) in Delilah (a stunningly beautiful woman but an unbeliever) was what led to his destruction (Judges 14:1-3; Judges 16). 

2.   Ahab’s choice of a wife in Jezebel – an unbeliever turned him into a servant of Satan (1 Kings 21:25).

3.  Annanias’ and Saphira’s choices of mates in each other made them partners in retrogression and led to their death and perhaps, eternal damnation (Acts 5:1-10).

4. Aquilla and Priscila’s choices of mates in each other made them partners in progress in Kingdom business (Acts 18:1-3).

5.  Zacharia and Elizabeth’s choices of mates in each other made them to serve God together (Luke 1:6). 

Dangers of Marrying Outside the Faith

When a child of God marries outside the Faith, it often leads to spiritual idolatry. King Solomon tried it and ended up an idol worshiper and promoter (I Kings 11:1). This act plunged Israel into losing God’s Word for many years, which led to apostasy (II Kings 23:13). In his book, If I Be A Man of God (2002:15), late ‘ArchBishop’ Benson Idahosa asked: 

What is there to admire in the life of the unbeliever that you cannot find in the Household of Faith? Is outward beauty so paramount in your agenda that you must look? 

A Christian Sister in America married outside the Faith and her experiences were not palatable. She chronicled her story in a book titled, “I Married A Catholic....” It was written to dissuade girls who were trying to marry outside the Faith to reconsider their decisions. You need to read that book to convince yourself that it is dangerous to let “love” (which I prefer to call, ‘Chemical reactions”) mislead you into marrying outside the Faith. 

Reasons Brethren Adduce For Marrying Outside The Faith

There are several reasons given by Brethren as reasons why they marry outside the Faith. We are going to highlight some of the reasons Brothers and sisters give: first we shall look at what Brothers are saying after which we shall look at that of the Sisters.

1. Brothers  

1.    Status.

2.    Immorality and immodesty among sisters.

3. Some brothers complain that they did not see who to marry within their

     local congregations.

4.    Those outside the Faith are sometimes more moral than those within the

     Faith.

5. Inability of suitors to meet up certain standards. Some sisters are so    

     materialistic that their demands are out of the ordinary. 

Brothers, be reminded that “Beauty and “Brain”; translucency (shining or golden skins) and psychedelia (elegance) do not make a good wife (cf. Prov. 31:28). Jezebel was a beautiful woman with stunning looks and impressive physique (II Kings 9:30) but she turned King Ahab away from God and turned him into a first class fool, an apostate and a puppet monarch. In fact, Jezebel made Ahab a despicable man before God and men (cf. I Kings 21:25).

 2. Sisters

1.    Most brothers are poor and struggling. In fact, many sisters claim that they would not want to suffer in their parents’ houses and do the same in their husbands’ homes. For this reason, they have to say, “Yes” wealthy unbelievers outside the Faith.   

2. Status. This has to do with social, academic and professional incompatibilities.

3.  Brothers are not forthcoming with marriage proposals; so, anyone outside who does is welcome.

4. Some are encouraged to marry outside the Faith because of the bad examples of those who are married to fellow Christians.

5. Sisters complain that brothers go outside the Faith to marry and bring inside and so they ask why they should not be allowed to do the same (a case of what is good to the goose is equally good for the gander. If we allow brothers to convert and marry why castigate the Sisters who go out to marry outside the Faith?).  

Sisters, be also reminded that manliness (athletic built) and wealth; smooth talking and the ability to cruise around town on latest model of Lincoln Navigator, Infinity, etcetera do not qualify a man as a good husband. It is “better to have a feast of vegetable” with a loving, godly and caring husband “than to possess all treasures and strife therein” (Proverbs 17:1; 15:16; 28:6). 

Place the value of eternity ahead of you while considering who to spend the rest of your earthly life in marriage with. It is sheer stupidity to enjoy all the glitz and glamour of an unchristian marriage and be forever lost in hell (Matthew 16:26).  

Further Causes of Marrying Outside the Faith

1. Approaching wrong persons for marriage which often leads to disappointment; these brothers return to complain that sisters do want to marry them. He who wants to marry a princess should himself be a prince.

2.  Lack of social interactions among Brethren. Some do not want to associate with fellow Christians to the point that immediately after worship services or fellowships, they speed off.

3.  Some Sisters, the moment brothers approach them, they launch verbal attacks on those prospective suitors, thereby discouraging good intentions.

4.    Some brothers are too strict, not allowing sisters to express themselves. For that reason, sisters are not predisposed to accepting marrying them.

5.  Some brothers use extra-Biblical and religious terminologies such as “unscriptural” this or “unscriptural” that, as a cloak of subjugation. For this reason, sisters are afraid that should they marry such ‘sanctimonious’ brothers they would be living in bondage.

6.    Some sisters’ want already made men as husbands.

7. Some Brethren (brothers and sisters) are one-congregation members; they do not go out to attend Brotherhood wide programmes from where enlarged brotherhood would notice them or they will see others with whom they can marry. 

8.    Lack of faithfulness; Keeping boyfriends and girlfriends outside the Faith; in other words being unequally yoked together with unbelievers. 

9. Some people prefer to marry those who are morally upright outside than to marry than to marry those who are morally bankrupt within the Faith.  

CONCLUSION

Life is a choice. Actions and reactions are equal and opposite. What you sow is what you reap. Choose to be right and live right. There are Rights and Idols of marriage. Moderate your rights and avoid your idols.    

Thank you.

Hilary Johnson Chukwuma Chukwurah

Phone: 08039596919. E-mail: hilaryjohnsonc@gmail.com