EXPECTATIONS OF GOD FROM THE FAMILY OF A CHRISTIAN

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife (husband) of his (her) youth. – Malachi 2:15. 

Home is where the heart is. Because charity begins at home, family of a Christian should serve as a pulpit for church and community. In New Testament settings, homes of Christians were considered as extensions of the Church. This explains the concept of “Home church” or “Church in the home” that we read of at Romans 16:5 and I Corinthians 16:19. 

How each member of a family behaves goes a long way to affect or improve her collective testimony. As family goes, so go both Church and community. 

The responsibility of moderating family life rests squarely on the shoulders of a Christian husband and his wife. The man is considered Husband as well as House-band – meaning, he is both spouse and supporter of his wife and home. Failure of the family is blamed on him, but success of the family is his glory.

God expects men to be men, not just males. They must be men in their homes, not just males at home. The difference between males and men is simple: while males have all the physical features of the masculine gender, men have character, competence and capacity. Every man is a male but not every male is a man in the strictest sense of the word. 

While males are bossy, men lead with character: they are fair and firm. God needs men in every home to be people of character (rationale and uncompromising). 

PLACE OF CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN IN FAMILIES

Understanding the place of family in God’s scheme of things defines the roles of Christian men and women in families. The family is of great importance to God, considering that it is the bedrock of human society. Malachi 2:15 states why God established the home: 

“And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 

The purpose of God for the family is to raise Godly children. This explains why God was happy when Abraham fulfilled this Divine mandate. At Genesis 18:19 He said of Abraham,

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, that they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” 

When we do what God expects of us, He will do what we expect of Him. God expects families to serve as platforms for training and dissemination of His Will for mankind. For this reason, family should be a place where God is honoured, obeyed and worshipped; a place which demonstrates knowledge of God and radiates His glory. 

We need more families like that where Timothy was nurtured in the fear and admonition of the Lord (II Timothy 1:5; II Timothy 3:15); where children learn God’s ordinances, and are prepared to be positive change-agents that our world desperately needs.

As major stakeholders, Christian men and women are expected to set appropriate examples of worship, obedience and guidance in their families. When men fulfill their responsibilities of being Christian men/husbands and Christian women care for their families with decorum, chastity and virtue, we would be on our way to unleashing an army of well-groomed children who will transform their societies. 

Duties of men in their homes are to make provisions for the well-being of their families (I Timothy 5:8) while women do the noble work of caring for each member of their homes. Together, they provide support. 

Fraternal cohesion of Christian families is one of the most powerful testimonies of hope to a world fragmented by wrong value systems and unguided moral persuasions. 

It is the family that moderates the moral and spiritual tones of both Church and society. If families churn out miscreants, Church and society are negatively affected, but if they churn out godly children, Church and society are made better. Therefore, raising godly children and stabilizing societies are the greatest roles of Christian men and women in families. 

FAMILY OF A CHRISTIAN AND OFFSPRING OF THE UNION

Part of the roles of Christian parents is to enthrone a culture of moral excellence in their offspring by teaching them to uphold family and Godly values. In his book, Judges: Survival Skills For Concerned Christians, Bruce McLarty (1997:10) wrote: 

One of my favourite bits of child-rearing advice comes from a man who says that as a parent, he is not rearing children. That is simply too shortsighted for him. Instead, he claims that his job is to train the parents of his grandchildren. 

In her book, Parenting and Society, Dor. Nkem Ezenwanne (2018:18) quotes Susan, a mother as saying: 

“I believe that our job as parents is to civilize our young, and provide society with decent, moral citizens.”

As a parent, your duty is to make the lives of your children count for God - to become who they were created to be. A few Biblical examples will suffice:   

Example of The Rechabites

Teach your children to have culture and to stand by it. Families should be known for what they believe. A family with rock-solid character is an asset not only to the Church, but to the nation, which makes God happy. The Rechabites stand as a clear testimony on this. Culture was enthroned by grandfather, children and grandchildren upheld it with vice-like integrity. Jeremiah 35:1-14 tells us: 

 

The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord in the days of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, saying, “Go to the house of the Rechabites, speak to them, and bring them into the house of the Lord, into one of the chambers, and give them wine to drink.” Then I took Jaazaniah the son of Jeremiah, the son of Habazziniah, his brothers and all his sons, and the whole house of the Rechabites, and I brought them into the house of the Lord, into the chamber of the sons of Hanan the son of Igdaliah, a man of God, which was by the chamber of the princes, above the chamber of Maaseiah the son of Shallum, the keeper of the door. Then I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites bowls full of wine, and cups; and I said to them, “Drink wine.” But they said, “We will drink no wine, for Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, commanded us, saying, ‘You shall drink no wine, you nor your sons, forever.… Thus, we have obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, in all that he charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, or our daughters, …. But we have dwelt in tents, and have obeyed and done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us. But it came to pass, when Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came up into the land, that we said, ‘Come, let us go to Jerusalem for fear of the army of the Chaldeans and for fear of the army of the Syrians.’ So we dwell at Jerusalem.” Then came the word of the Lord to Jeremiah, saying, “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: ‘Go and tell the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, “Will you not receive instruction to obey My words?” says the Lord. “The words of Jonadab the son of Rechab, which he commanded his sons, not to drink wine, are performed; for to this day they drink none, and obey their father’s commandment. But although I have spoken to you, rising early and speaking, you did not obey Me.” 

I have noticed that someone can be righteously disobedient to God. When Peter was told, “Rise up, kill and eat,” he said, “Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is unclean.” (Acts 10: 13-15). 

Some people would have jumped at the slightest opportunity to have a drinking spree. Imagine a prophet with stellar character in the person of Jeremiah telling his congregants in the House of the Lord that God had instructed them to drink. Any other family could jump at this opportunity, but not the Rechabites. They told Prophet Jeremiah to his face: 

“We will not because it is not in our character to. Our forefathers commanded us not to and we will not!”       

God was impressed and so used the Rechabites as an example to the whole Nation of Israel. You will be considered a successful parent when your children have the culture of saying, “No!” when pressured to do what they were taught are wrong.    

Example of Daughters of Zelophehad

Teach your children to be audacious and positive change-agents. Daughters of Zelophehad were. They would not have been if they were not taught to be. 

I pity men and women who do not raise their daughters the way their daughters should be raised or being disappointed that they have only daughters rather than sons because one quality daughter is far better than one thousand useless sons.    

Being Christians does not translate to being cowardly. You have to know when to demand for what belongs to you. When pitched to the wall, Apostle Paul demanded for what was his in a very audacious manner. Acts 22:23-29 tells us: 

And as they were crying out and throwing off their cloaks and tossing dust into the air, the commander ordered him to be brought into the barracks, stating that he should be examined by scourging so that he might find out the reason why they were shouting against him that way. But when they stretched him out with thongs, Paul said to the centurion who was standing by, “Is it lawful for you to scourge a man who is a Roman and uncondemned?” When the centurion heard this, he went to the commander and told him, saying, “What are you about to do? For this man is a Roman.” The commander came and said to him, “Tell me, are you a Roman?” And he said, “Yes.” The commander answered, “I acquired this citizenship with a large sum of money.” And Paul said, “But I was actually born a citizen.” Therefore those who were about to examine him immediately let go of him; and the commander also was afraid when he found out that he was a Roman, and because he had put him in chains. 

Do not let people take you for a ride – demand for your right, but do so with grace and tact. Numbers 27:1-8 tells us about amazing audacious girls who were positive change-agents: 

Then the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph, came near; and these are the names of his daughters: Mahlah, Noah and Hoglah and Milcah and Tirzah. They stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the leaders and all the congregation, at the doorway of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness, yet he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah; but he died in his own sin, and he had no sons. “Why should the name of our father be withdrawn from among his family because he had no son? Give us a possession among our father’s brothers.” So Moses brought their case before the LORD. Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “The daughters of Zelophehad are right in their statements. You shall surely give them a hereditary possession among their father’s brothers, and you shall transfer the inheritance of their father to them. Further, you shall speak to the sons of Israel, saying, ‘If a man dies and has no son, then you shall transfer his inheritance to his daughter.’” 

Instill courage in your children. No matter their gender, teach them to value their opinions and to cause positive changes wherever they are. If not for the courageous courage of Zelophehad’s daughters, a longstanding culture of deprivations and discriminations in Israel would not have been changed.    

I do not know the negative cultures that define your community and environment. If you want to make a positive change, raise an army of positive change-agents.    

Example of Daniel and His Friends

Teach your children to have character and to stand on what they believe in wherever they are. One of the ways to know when you have raised a child with character is when he/she is out of your radar. 

Daniel and his friends were taken out of their homes in Israel into a far country where the True God was not worshipped and where there was no one to look over their shoulders. But because their parents planted the fear of God in them, they moderated their lives in a foreign land where “freedom” was everything that young people needed. Daniel 1:3-8 tells us:

Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility -  young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service. Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego. But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. (NIV)

We all know the story of what happened after. What was the staying power of these young people? While in their homes, their parents succeeded in planting the fear of God and His Presence in them. This was a great insurance, which guaranteed that they would not misbehave and should they for any reason misbehave, would quickly retrace their steps. 

Teach your children to be God-conscious (II Chronicles 16:9; Proverbs 15:3; Hebrews 4:13). Make this a major part of their personal cultures. God’s consciousness would keep them from messing around and muddling up their morality by sowing wild oaths (Exodus 20:20; Genesis 39:9). Nothing satisfies and more assuring than knowing that your children are God-fearing; that they will not compromise their morality and Faith; that they will not let peer pressure or any kind of pressure to “give that which is holy to dogs nor pearls to swine” (Matthew 7:6).

Teach them to treasure their valuables. One Bible passage that best speaks of parental influence and the impacts it has on our young is found in Song of Solomon 8:8-10:  

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar. “I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.” 

This is awesome! In the above passage, siblings of a young girl were afraid that she would compromise her morality, saying that if she were to be a wall (impregnable), they would build upon her battlement of silver (honour her) but if she were to be a door (public utility – people going in and coming out), they would inclose her. Expectedly, the young girl stated, “I am a wall….” 

Can we train our children to be God-fearing and uncompromising? Godly children are their parents’ pride. 

God expects the family of Christians to teach their children to have dignity. Anyone with dignity has a strong moral base (foundation). No one with dignity would cheapen himself or herself even for all the gold in the world (Genesis 39:6-13). If a child has dignity he/she would become a wall, not a door, an exclusive reserve, not everybody’s property (Songs of Solomon 8:8-10). 

PARENTING IS TOUGH BUSINESS

In his book, The Strong Family: Growing Wise in Family Life, Chuck Swindoll (1991:10) tells the story of Charlie Shedd. Before he became a father, Mr. Shedd held public speaking engagements. He titled his presentation, “How To Raise Your Children.” His seminars attracted large audiences. Then Mr. Shedd became a father. After a while, he organized another seminar on the same subject under a different title, “Some Suggestions To Parents.” After several children later, he changed the title of his message to, “Feeble Hints to Fellow Strugglers.” After this, he seldom gave that message. However, when he did years later, his theme was, “Anyone Here Got A Few Words of Wisdom?” 

It is not easy being a parent because parenting is not a tea-party affair. It is as serious as seriousness. As a parent, your business is to mould characters and to define destinies. As a parent, you are a caretaker. One day, you are going to give account of each of your children to God (cf. Hebrews 2:13).   

WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF A CHRISTIAN MAN 

Take Care of Your Family

The power to feed is the power to lead. No man who is worth his salt as a man can afford not to do his duties of providing for his family (I Timothy 5:8). Times are hard and the economy tough, I agree. However, I assure you that when you do your best, your family would know that you are doing your best. Do not be an absentee father and never abandon your duty posts. 

It is the duty of a father to save up for his children, not the other way (II Corinthians 12:14). Succinctly stated, a good father bequeaths wealth to his children (Proverbs 19:14a). 

You must wake up and take care of your family materially. You must wake up and take care of your family physically. You must wake up and take care of your family spiritually. Success or failure of your family rests squarely on your shoulders.    

As a man, you must provide leadership. A good leader leads from the front, not from behind. In view of this, you must show example. The power of personal example is powerful. What your children see you do is what they will likely do. Your house is your children’s learning ground. When a goat chews curd, its young watches. Edgar A. Guest described the power of example in his award-winning poem, I Rather See A Sermon: 

I would rather see a Sermon each day than to hear one. 

I would rather that you lead me than merely show the way….

 WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF A CHRISTIAN WOMAN

Support Your Husband

From the word, “Go,” women were created as “helpmeet.” While a husband is the head of the house, his wife is the shoulder. As a Christian woman, you should never sabotage your husband. Be Submissive To Him In The Will of God whether he is poor or rich, handsome or ugly, educated or an illiterate. 

As a helpmeet, you should support him physically, morally, emotionally and spiritually. Be the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 to your husband.  

COLLABORATE TO SUCCEED AS A FAMILY

To achieve success at the home front as a family, a Christian man and a Christian woman must collaborate to ensure that what God expects of them are realized. Mike Udam (2014) wrote that Christian men and women should take care of each other as they seek to play their roles effectively. He wrote that a husband should:     

• Provide for his wife’s needs.
• Show interest in her health and how she is feeling at any particular point in time.
• Show interest in helping her family. 
• Make her feel the way she was feeling when he was courting her.
• Surprise her with gifts once in a while
• Meet her emotional needs.
• Criticize her privately, rebuke her gently.
• Make her feel important.
• Share his dreams and visions with her.
• Be transparent in his financial dealings.
• Have strong shoulders to take care of the needs of his children.
• Pray for his wife’s success daily.
• Protect and defend his wife.

For the Christian woman in the home, Brother Udam wrote that she should:

• Listen to her husband’s instructions at all times, except when it conflicts with plain teachings of God’s Word.
• Consider him as “lord” or “master” as well the driver of the family bus.
• Consult with him before executing any of her decisions that can impact on the family.
• Work with him in child discipline.
• Seek approval from him before any major financial transactions are undertaken.
• Never criticize his leadership style publicly.
• Never deny him his emotional entitlements.
• Take time to listen to him well before reacting.
• Help to cover his nakedness and not to make announcements about it.
• Pray for his success daily.
• Have strong shock absorbers to accommodate his mistakes as the family bus is in motion.

CONCLUSION

When we live to fulfill God’s expectations of us, He will be honoured in our lives and families. May God give us the grace to meet His expectations of us as far as family life is concerned.

 Thank you.    

REFERENCES

Bruce McLarty, B. (1997). Judges: Survival Skills For Concerned Christians. Arkansas, USA: Truth for Today.   

Ezenwanne, Dor. A. B. (2018). Parenting and Society. Enugu: Grand-Heritage Global Communications. 

Swindoll, C. (1991). The Strong Family: Growing Wise in Family Life. Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing. 

Udam, Mike (2014). Messages For The 21^st Century Man. Nsukka: Grand-Heritage Global Communications. 

 

 

IT IS POSSIBLE

 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak - II Corinthians 4:13

PREAMBLES

        Without equivocation, I affirm with every fibre of my being that It Is Possible. It is possible to attain higher heights in life. It is possible to realize your dreams, to overcome those challenges that are inhibiting your manifestation on the global stage.

It is possible to be who you want to be. If the Wright Brothers (inventors of aero plane) could dream of inventing a flying machine and indeed flew, you can achieve that dream. If Moses could dream of becoming a Prince, Judge and Deliverer of his people (Exodus 2:14) and was able to achieve his dreams (Acts 7:35-36), you can. You can if you believe you can.

I have elected to take the text of this presentation from Gospel of Jesus according to Mark Chapter 11 verse 23:                 

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

This is a statement of fact as well as a statement of faith. In the realm of life, faith (faith in God and self) is the only currency with which men and women of purpose transact. In the language of faith, impossibility is a strange word.

          Faith is a five-letter word whose capacity to unleash the possibility spirit can never be controverted. As a Christian, you are a powerhouse of possibilities. You are created in the Image of God and imbued with the nature and capacity of God. You are wired with ability to do the impossible.

          Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” If Jesus said, then I believe it. I am what God says I am, I have what He says I have, and I can do what He says I can do.

HOW POSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE?

The word, “Possible” means it can be done. It is possible because it is possible. All you need is to have faith in your faith and to doubt your doubt. Develop Can-Do Spirit. Human beings throughout recorded history have the capacity to dare any odd and to come out victorious. There is power that inhabits every one of us. You can, if you think you can. At Matthew 17:20 Jesus speaks with finality:

“For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

The power to be and accomplish your dream is inside you. All you need is to activate this power by focusing on the belief energy that God has given you. Everything begins and ends with personal belief. According to INC.com,

If you believe something is impossible, that belief will erode your confidence and turn that impossible belief into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, if you believe that you can do it, that it is possible, this belief will increase your confidence and turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sometimes your past experiences are called in to assist in accomplishing the things people think are impossible. David’s previous experiences animated his self-belief to accomplish what others thought was impossible. Faced with the challenge of fighting against a Philistine giant whom every battle-tested Israeli in the days of King Saul feared to take on, young David looked into himself and cast his mind back to his past and knew that it was possible. At I Samuel 17:34-37 we read:

But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God.” Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” And Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you!”        

          It is possible. What others think is “impossible” is only possible if you believe it is possible. Do not allow what people say or other people’s experiences to determine whether something can be done or not. Allow other people’s experiences to serve as your personal classroom; let their failure fire your enthusiasm to succeed. Where others go to fail, you can go to succeed.      

Fear is often what stops us in our tracks towards accomplishing our dreams in life. Do not let fear of failure cripple you. Fear is the enemy of possibility and an ally of the “impossible.” To overcome fear, you must take a step of faith. Do what you fear and the fear of fear will be gone. According to INC.com:

Fearlessness is a state of mind, not a genetic trait. You can acquire it and strengthen it. Start to build your courage now by reminding yourself of all of the amazing feats you've already accomplished in your life. Chances are, you have probably already made the impossible possible several times in your life. What have you already accomplished that you once thought could never be done? Write it down. Keep this list handy and read it whenever you are tempted to believe that you don't have what it takes to begin to make changes in your life.

YOUR DESTINY IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS

          Who you are is a gift from God, but what you become out of who you are is your gift back to God. Everything you need to succeed in life are already deposited inside you. II Peter 1:3 tells us that “God has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.” Because God has given to us all things that that pertain to life and godliness, the onus is now on you to become who He created you to be. At Judges 12:1-3 we read one can take his/her destiny in his/her own hands:   

And the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and went northward, and said unto Jephthah, Wherefore passedst thou over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didst not call us to go with thee? We will burn thine house upon thee with fire. And Jephthah said unto them, I and my people were at great strife with the children of Ammon; and when I called you, ye delivered me not out of their hands. And when I saw that ye delivered me not, I PUT MY LIFE IN MY HANDS, and passed over against the children of Ammon, and the LORD delivered them into my hand: wherefore then are ye come up unto me this day, to fight against me? (KJV)

            This is what I refer to as Jephthah’s Alternative. Jephthah’s Alternative is nothing other than taking your own destiny in your own hands. It is doing by yourself and for yourself what no one else can do for you. It is taking personal responsibility for what you finally become, knowing that nobody owes you anything, rather, you owe yourself everything; it is the understanding that your success or failure in life is entirely your own making. In his book, Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits, T.D. Jakes (2007:4, 8) observed and asks,

Many of us attribute success or failure to fate or some external force. We believe that we have to be in the right place at the right time in order to achieve, much like winning the lottery. But success is a direct consequence of our wanting a more abundant life and working hard to earn it, like wadding through the mud puddles of life toward the beckoning sea…. Isn’t it time for you to direct your hope toward building your dreams instead of waiting on your dreams to build themselves?”   

Achieving your goals in life is not a serendipity affair – it is not a chance happening. Actions and reactions remain equal and opposite. What you sow into life is what you receive back from it. What you throw at life is what it throws back at you. You must learn to go for what you want even when others are not prepared to help you birth your dreams. Succinctly stated: You Must Take Your Life In Your Hands!

Jephthah took his life (destiny) in his own hands. This is what I call Jephthah’s Alternative. His alternative remains our only alternative in the face of challenging times such as these!

In Scripture, we encounter two challenging and life-changing questions:

1.     “What is that in thine hand?” (Exodus 4:2; cf. Exodus 14:15-16).

2.     “What do you have in thine house?” (II Kings 4:2).

Many times, we do not know that the solutions we seek in Sokoto are already in our Shokoto. Answers to our prayers may after all be in our hands. When we discover who we are, what abilities we have and resources we have “in the house,” put them to good uses, our stories will begin to change. We will discover that we will not be talking about unemployement but employment generation.

The key to Moses’ victory was already in his hands. When Israel cried to God for help, God told Moses to use what was already in his hand and bring solution to his people. When Widow of a prophet cried because of debt, she was told to look inwards and when she discovered she had a solution to her problem, she used it to settle her debts, settled herself, her children and then lived prosperous ever after.

What is in your hand and what do you have in your house? If no questions should jolt you out of your reverie, these should! Look at your hand and search your house! Take your life in your hands and do what you alone can do and what no one else has ever done!     

YOUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR PICTURE

Understand that “You cannot feature in a future you cannot picture!” The picture you have determines the future you possess. WHAT you see is as important as WHO you see. Fact remains that the you, you see is the you, you will be.

While some people have appropriate pictures of themselves, others do not. At Jeremiah 1:11-12, God confronted Jeremiah and asked, “… Jeremiah, what seest thou?” Jeremiah replied, “I see a rod of an almond tree.” The LORD said to him, “Thou hast well seen: for I will hasten my word to perform it.” The picture you have determines what God will bring to bear upon your life.

Jesus encountered a man who was blind. Realizing that the man’s life was filled with restrictions, took him aside to restore his sight. At Mark 8:22-25 we read,  

And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw anything. He looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly.

First, the man did not see as he ought to see. He saw men as trees. Jesus knew that he was not seeing clearly. He did what He did and the man’s sight was fully restored. He began to see clearly.

          I dare to ask you:

§ What do you see?

§ Who do you see?

 Twelve men were sent to spy out God’s Promised Land to Hebrews enroute Canaan. Two men came back with the appropriate picture but ten came back with wrong pictures in their minds. Their report said it all, “And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.” (Numbers 13:33).

Do you see a giant or a grasshopper? Do you see an achiever or a failure? Do you see a person on a world stage or a person relegated to the background? Do you see a job creator (employer) or a job seeker? What you see is what and who you finally become. …we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.

William James, one of America’s foremost Psychologists made the following observations:

There is a law in Psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking.

Desires of tough-minded optimists die-hard. Dare to dream. Hold on to the line, be tough skinned and don't give in to doubt, frustrations and discouragement.

Dare to create that picture and God will see to it that it becomes your future. Let your faith a telescopic view. I do not know the vision you have of yourself. Do yourself this favor: whatever may be the circumstance of your present, hold on to the rope. Someday, somewhere and somehow it will click. At Habakkuk 2:3, God's Word has this to say:

For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.

DO NOT BE DETERRED BY YOUR PRESENT CHALLENGES

          You must understand that life is not a restaurant where you eat and drink, but a battle ground where destinies are determined and lives are changed. Anyone who expects life to be easy and dreams to be realized without challenges is only daydreaming. The greater the challenges you encounter in life, the greater the opportunities you have to succeed.

          Destinies are determined at places of challenges. There is possibility in “impossibilities.” Remember that ‘impossibilities’ does not exist. Things might be difficult, but not impossible. For the purpose of this presentation, we will be inter-changing the word “difficult” with the term, “Impossible.” Each time the word, impossible is used, we are only refereeing to that which is difficult.

          When a situation presents an impossible scenario, look beyond it to see possibilities. Every problem in life has in itself the seed of solution. You must overcome defeatist mentality. Do not see problems from their face value, see the opportunities of advancement they present. You must understand that there is nothing to gain if there is nothing to fight over. The fact that there are challenges show that there is something to profit. So, each time you are faced with mountains of challenges, be assured that they are only trying to stop you from accessing gold. Seek to surmount those challenges and you will go home with the prize.  One of my favourites Bible passages is Judges 14:14. It says:

“Out of the eater came something to eat, and out of the strong came something sweet.”     

          With possibility mentality, what sets out to “eat” you will turn out to become your food and what you think is strong will end up in sweetness.

Arm yourself with the understanding that challenges of life are what will make you strong and give you the keys to achieve your goals. There is no prize without a price. At Luke 24:26, Jesus said, “Ought not the Christ to have suffered these things and to enter into His glory?”

          Your challenges are keys to your successes. Do not be deterred by them.

DO NOT ALLOW YOUR THOUGHTS TO DESTROY YOU

Know that your thoughts can make or mar you. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” You are who and what you think. For this reason, I encourage you to engage in Positive Thinking and Mind Renewal exercises. Ephesians 4:23; Proverbs 4:23 say:

“…and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.”

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

Lots of people are suffering from destructive mentalities. These include “Defeatist,” “Impossibility” and “I am A Nobody” mentalities. Let us look at each of these:

Defeatist Mentality 

This kind of mentality sees only defeat. It compares itself with the size of the problems of life and becomes in its own mind too small and his problems too big to be handled by such a small person as himself. This kind of mentality gives up easily. Proverbs 24:10 says, “If you faint in the day of adversity,
Your strength is small.”

While others see an opening, he only sees strong walls of oppositions. This mentality characterized ten out of twelve spies sent to spy out land of Canaan by God through Moses (Numbers 13:27-31).

God did not create us to be ruled and ruined by defeatism (Joel 3:10; II Tim.1: 7).

Impossibility Mentality

Spirit of impossibility rules in lives of many people which explains many cases of dashed hopes and aspirations. In the real sense of the word, nothing is impossible in itself. Impossibility is only a state of the mind. Things are impossible to you because you think they are impossible. Things may be difficult, but are not altogether impossible.                    

Nothing is impossible to anyone who believes that things are possible (Matthew 17: 20). Some people think that it is impossible to change a certain lifestyle. To them, they have reached a point of no return.

Unlock yourself from impossibility mentality. Dare to do things; step out in faith and dare to take on the difficult and “impossibility” would give way to possibility.

“I am a Nobody” Mentality

Satan has deceived and ruined many lives by feeding them with lies (Hosea 10:13b; John 8:44). Who told you that you are a nobody? For your own sake, efforts should be made to reject in totality anything or anyone suggesting that you are a nobody. It must be unequivocally stated that “Nobody” is a nobody. You are somebody. Every one God created is created to be somebody. God does not take time to create a nobody.

You are created in the very Image and Likeness of God and God is not a nobody. He is somebody. He is important. You are important, too. If you are nobody, why should Jesus die for you? Jesus died for you because you are SOMEBODY. You have a destiny to fulfill that is why you are somebody.

CONCLUSION

          It is possible. Yes, it is possible to be a dedicated Christian. It is possible to succeed in perilous times. It is possible to attain any height in life. It is possible to be a smashing success.

          God wants you to believe it is possible because it is possible. God bless us all in Jesus’ Name!

CHRISTIANS AND SOCIAL LIFE

I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them. And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. – John 17:9 -17 (KJV)

For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you. - I Peter 4:2-4.

“For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself….”– Romans 14:7

 “If you say you believe like you should, why do you behave like you shouldn’t?” – Charles R. Swindoll (James: Practical and Authentic Living).

INTRODUCTION

On a daily basis we are invited to attend one social event or the other. Some of these come from our friends, neighbours, fellow Christians, colleagues at work, etcetera. These are times when a person invites others to celebrate with him/her or share moments of sadness, etcetera. One fact remains that Christians are allowed to socialize. Invitations extended to us can be honoured or rejected. 1Corinthians 10:27 says:

“If an unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience.” (NIV)

From creation till now, social activities and attendant ceremonies have remained high points of individuals’ social experiences, they nonetheless have spiritual implications. This is because one’s social life could make or mar.

Christians are in the world, but are not of the world. Though, each Christian is a physical and social being, he/she is not guided by the physical, but by the spiritual.

Life is a nexus, a nexus between physical, social and spiritual. Striking a balance between the three is a Christian’s higher calling, aware that a mishandling of one can lead to disruptions in others.   

WHO IS A CHRISTIAN?

A Christian is a believer and disciple of Jesus Christ; one who has heard the Gospel, believed in Jesus, repented of his/her sins, confessed faith in Jesus and baptized into Christ and then added to the Body of the saved (Acts 2:47).

A Christian is one who is in a covenant relationship with God in Christ (II Corinthians 5:19). A Christian is one who is not ashamed of the Gospel (Romans 1:16) neither is he/she a shame to the Gospel (II Corinthians 6:3).  

Even though a Christian is in the world, yet, he does not belong to the world (John 17:14-16). In other words, he does not think and live like the world (Romans 12:1-2).

WHAT IS SOCIAL LIFE?

Social refers to that which relates to society. Social life is subsumed within a given society (community). Social life is one that defines the daily interactions of everyone who reside in a particular society. 

There are high points in individuals’ lives – birth and birthdays; graduations, coronations and investitures; marriages and their celebrations, awards and recognitions; deaths and burials.

Social life encompasses marriage and burials; community services and other social events in which members of a society (including Christians) are expected to play specific roles.      

Social life implies that we go to market to buy or sell; school, to teach or learn; hospital, to attend to people or be attended to; place of work, to earn or oversee those who work for us, etcetera. Everywhere we go, we come into contact with people of differing faiths, political leanings, social orientations, economic standing, etcetera.

CHRISTIANS AND SOCIAL LIFE

A Christian is first a member of his society before he became a Christian. As far as life on this plane of existence is concerned, a Christian cannot totally extricate himself from society. To do this would require that he goes home to be with the Lord. Writing to Corinthian Christians at I Corinthians 5:9-10, Apostle Paul made this point Clear:   

 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to associate with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.

Christians’ involvements in social activities include belonging to clubs, town meetings and professional associations; taking part in civic activities of one’s compound or neighbourhood. These may require sharing in other people’s joys and sad moments. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”  

Social life encompasses activities that take place in public or community; the actions that a human being carries out in contact with other people. Social life are the activities you perform with others for pleasure, when you are not working. 

During His earthly ministry, Jesus socialized with others. He attended weddings (John 2:1-11) and burials (Luke 7:11-16). He also accepted invitations of people who were considered “high profile” sinners of His days. At Matthew 9:10-12 we read:

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

 Each time Jesus socialized, He used such as an avenue for evangelization.

Christians are not called to live isolated lives. They are not called to live in monasteries or convents where they would have minimal contacts with people. Those who do, think they are living holy lives, but are mistaken because true holiness is not when you are not in contact with sinners, but when you encounter sinners, yet remain untainted by them (Jude verse 23).

Christians are part of their communities/societies, but do not allow ungodly principles within their environments to define how they live or carry out our daily activities.   

If a Christian is invited to any social activity and he/she feels led by the Spirit of God to go he/she should go, but should be careful (I Corinthians 10:27).

CHRISTIANS AND THEIR SOCIETIES

Christians are called to be salts of the earth and lights of their worlds (Matthew 5:14, 16). God has called and planted us in our various small corners not to conform to our respective environments, but to transform them (Romans 12:2). Therefore, it would be a spiritual tragedy for a Christian to allow himself/herself to be conformed to the spirit and ways of the world around him/her.  

Christians socialize with others because for us to become spiritual helpers of men, we must first prove ourselves to be their friends. We cannot effectively evangelize the world if we keep long distance from them. It is not the world who should come, but Christians who should go (Matthew 28:18-20). However, there is a caveat – we must remain unspotted by the world (James 1:27; Galatians 6:1). Someone wrote:

The social life of a Christian, so far as his contact with the world is concerned should be kept to a minimum. This is not because he has no interest in his worldly friends, but because he finds greater joys in his associations with his brethren in Christ, those with whom he enjoys like precious faith. However, to whatever degrees Christians may find it necessary to associate with their neighbours, they should always maintain the true dignity of the Christian life so that all who come in contact with them will realize that their lives are being governed by higher principles than are those of the world. The real social life of the Christian is enjoyed within the community of his brethren in Christ, and here, as in all the phases of his life, his first consideration is not to be that of pleasing others, but doing the will of God.

CHALLENGES OF CHRISTIANS AND SOCIALIZATION

In communities where Christian populations are few, Christians are faced with peculiar challenges. This has led to Christians joining meetings organized by unbelievers so that when they die, they will be buried by a large number of persons. It has also led to Christians marrying unbelievers because of scarcity of marriageable persons.

Whatever challenges we face as Christians in our respective communities, we should realize that communal lifestyles, most times run counter to Christian culture. At I Peter 4:2-4 God enjoin us:

For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you.

    

In our quests to socialize with others, we should not follow the multitude to do what are not right (cf. Matthew 7:13-14; Exodus 23:2).

PRINCIPLES TO GUIDE A CHRISTIAN’S SOCIAL LIFE

There are principles to guide Christians in their social lives. First, wisdom should guide Christians socially. At Luke 7:33-35 we read:

For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”

The world in which we live is filled with sharks. It takes wisdom to overcome them. At Matthew 10:16, Jesus counseled:

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”

         

          In view of these, the following principles should serve as our guide:

1.     Protect your image as well as that of other Christians

Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.- I Corinthians 8:8-13. 

       2.     Avoid any form of entanglements

      No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries        to please his commanding officer. - II Timothy 2:4. 

     3.     Be careful of those you socialize with – If Dinah had not gone out, she 

          would not have been violated by Shechem

Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.” – Genesis 34:1-4.  

   4.    Understand that whether absent or present, your goal should be to please the Lord

We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it - II Corinthians 8:9-10 

   5.     Your social life should be an avenue for evangelization

If my social life does not shed light on Jesus Christ and His Gospel, then my Christianity should be questioned. 

6.  As Christians, our social lives should be transformative, not conformative  

A more modern translation of Romans 12:2 says, “Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do....”

7.     Let your Christian life be reflected in your social life

In his book, Christians and Social Dance: Should We or Should We Not? Evangelist Jacob Achinefu (2019:43) writes,

Know it that there is an aspect of religion in social matters. If not, we should allow each Christian to live his/her social life without restraint. It is his religion that checks his social behaviours. … a Christian is everywhere a Christian and should be spiritual wherever he is found.” 

He then quotes Brother Ben. Ukaegbu (CRV, 2015:17) as saying, “… Anyone who is not a Christian everywhere is not a Christian anywhere.” 

8.     Let your social life be a cause to praise God

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God - Corinthians 10:31-32.   

CONCLUSION

          The wisdom to guide our social interactions without compromising our Faith and morality is one that every Heaven-oriented Christians should seek. Do not let your social life outweigh your spiritual life. Let your spiritual life moderate your social life.