MAKING EVERY OPPORTUNITY

 

Elisha had become sick with the illness of which he would die. Then Joash, King of Israel came down to him, and wept over his face, and said, “O my father, my father, the chariots of Israel and their horsemen!” Elisha said to him, “Take a bow and some arrows.” So he took himself a bow and some arrows. Then he said to the king of Israel, “Put your hand on the bow.” So he put his hand on it, and Elisha put his hands on the king’s hands. And he said, “Open the east window”; and he opened it. Then Elisha said, “Shoot”; and he shot. And he said, “The arrow of the Lord’s deliverance and the arrow of deliverance from Syria; for you must strike the Syrians at Aphek till you have destroyed them.” Then he said, “Take the arrows”; so he took them. And he said to the king of Israel, “Strike the ground”; so he struck three times, and stopped. And the man of God was angry with him, and said, “You should have struck five or six times; then you would have struck Syria till you had destroyed it! But now you will strike Syria only three times.” – II Kings 13:14-19, NKJV.

 

This is a classic case of a lost opportunity. As Prophet Elisha was at the point of death, the king of Israel arrived. He needed help to defeat his enemies and so made his request known to the only man who could help him. His request was granted in full. He was given an open cheque when He was told to strike the ground – as many times as he would strike the ground would be the number of times he would be victorious over his enemies. Rather than strike the ground ten times or more, he only struck the ground three times. It was an opportunity of a life time, but he flunked it. He could not make the opportunity he had to count.     

 Have you ever missed an opportunity that would have made a difference in your life? Do you know anyone who has lost an opportunity? Many people have lost opportunities of a lifetime. Opportunities are brought our ways to make life worth its while. Therefore, when we miss opportunities, we miss making date with destiny.

I have been instructed to speak to you on the topic, “Making Every Opportunity Count.”  This topic excites me.

WHAT IS OPPORTUNITY? 

Oxford Dictionary defines “Opportunity” 

As a time or set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something; a favorable situation for a positive outcome. 

Opportunity elicits interest in all of us because we all desire to have opportunities. To miss an opportunity is like losing a prized possession. 

Opportunity comes in various forms, shapes, situations and circumstances. The saying, “opportunity comes but once” is often true meaning that we should endeavour to take advantage of opportunities that come our way. 

On Sunday, April 30, 2006 Radio Nigeria aired a drama titled, “Wasted opportunity.” This reminds me of a home movie titled, “Wasted years.” In other words, wasted opportunities entails wasted years. 

TIME TO DO WHAT WE CAN WITH OPPORTUNITIES IS NOW

At John 9:4 Jesus says: 

I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. 

Many have died without taking advantage of opportunities they had to make their contributions towards their families, societies and the world in general. In other words, many have died with lost opportunities. 

The language of opportunity is “NOW.” Omar Iban, Caliph of a Moslem state who ruled from 633 - 644 AD remarked: 

“There are four things which come not back - time past, neglected opportunity, the spoken word and the sped arrow.” 

Kahlil Gibran wrote: 

“He that tries to seize an opportunity after it has passed him by is like one who sees it approach but will not go to meet it.”

In his classic book, The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason wrote: 

“Opportunity is a haughty goddess who wastes no time with those who are unprepared.” 

Opportunity favours only the prepared. 

Preparedness is a key element of opportunity. Some people are said to be lucky in life. Strictly speaking, there is nothing like luck. You must understand that luck is not some kind of mystical happening. Luck is preparation waiting for opportunity. L. Charley wrote:

“Great opportunities come to all, and the secret of success in life is to be ready to grasp them when they arrive.” 

Mario Andretti advised:                                                                                                                 

“Prepare yourself in every way you can by increasing your knowledge and adding to your experience, so that you can make the most of opportunity when it occurs.” 

WHY WAIT FOR OPPORTUNITY WHEN YOU CAN CREATE ONE?

If you want to make progress in life, rather than wait for opportunities, you can attract opportunities. Francis Bacon wrote: 

 “A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” 

Bruce Lee, late famous Chinese Karate movie sensation said: 

 “To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.” 

Stop waiting for people to create opportunities for you, make efforts to create opportunities for yourself. In his book, Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits, T.D. Jakes (2007:4, 8) observed:

Many of us attribute success or failure to fate or some external force. We believe that we have to be in the right place at the right time in order to achieve, much like winning the lottery. But success is a direct consequence of our wanting a more abundant life and working hard to earn it, like wadding through the mud puddles of life toward the beckoning sea…. Isn’t it time for you to direct your hope toward building your dreams instead of waiting on your dreams to build themselves?”    

Do not wait for life to happen, make life happen! Eric Thomas advised: 

“Stop being a victim and waiting for somebody else to open up an opportunity for you!” 

To do this, learn to scan your environment. When you do, you will find missing gaps. At Acts 17:22-23, Apostle Paul scanned his environment and saw solution to people’s need:

Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said, “Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious. For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, ‘TO THE UNKNOWN GOD.’ Whom, therefore, ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you.” 

Sometimes opportunities come disguised. This is where you need to shine your eyes so that you can make every opportunity count. Thomas A. Edison said: 

“Most people miss Opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” 

When you do not take advantage of opportunities, it results to poverty of some sort. It is said that the word, POOR means “Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly.” 

SATAN PROVIDES A VALUABLE LESSON ON OPPORTUNITY

If there is anything you must learn from Satan, learn the need to take advantage of opportunities because he is an expert at that. The devil is a being of opportunity and he exploits opportunities to the full. At Ephesians 4:26-27 we are warned: 

“Do not give the devil an opportunity.” 

If the devil is a business man, he sure knows how to play the game of seizing every opportunity he has to achieve his objectives. At Luke 4:13 we read: 

And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a more opportune time. 

Learn from Satan - learn to take advantage of opportunities.    

LOST OPPORTUNITY BRINGS REGRET

Some years ago, I had the opportunity to invest in Bitcoin, but somebody who was with me then discouraged me from doing that. This same person later borrowed the same money I was to invest in Bitcoin and never paid back. Today, Bitcoin is selling at almost US$40, 000. 00 (twenty million, four hundred thousand Naira!). Today, as I stand before you, I am filled with regrets. 

In the year 2020, former Governor of Anambra State, Mr. Peter Obi confessed that one of the greatest regrets he had as a businessman was not taking advantages of the opportunities he had to invest in Zoom when it was selling for peanuts. He had opportunity to invest in Zoom before Covid-19 pandemic swept the world like a tidal wave. At the heat of the pandemic, Zoom zoomed. Today, anyone who had invested in Zoom technology is a multi-millionaire in Dollars. 

HOW TO RECOGNIZE OPPORTUNITIES

Opportunities abound around you - you only need to look to see these opportunities. Joel Osteen wrote:

 “We will never be able to recognize opportunities if we first don’t recognize all that we have and all that we’ve been given.” 

Michael Gerber said: 

 “The entrepreneur in us sees opportunities everywhere we look, but many people see only problems everywhere they look.” 

The opportunities you seek is probably around you and in you. What you are looking for in Sokoto are already in your Shokoto. Therefore, look inside you and in your environment. Nigeria is loaded with opportunities. Yes, things are hard, but difficulties also present in themselves inherent solutions. Judges 14:14 says, 

“Out of the eater has come something to eat and out of the strong has come something sweet.”    

Opportunities abound where needs and problems exist. In his book, Stop Worrying, Byron Pulsifer wrote: 

“A lot of times, we view a situation that causes us the real problem. However, if you turn it around and see a problem as a mere challenge, you will also see that there is an opportunity right before your eyes.” 

Myles Munroe observed: 

“If you call it an opportunity instead of buckling under the load of the words crisis or tragedy or disaster, then you can start taking advantage of what has happened.” 

In her book, What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20, Tina Seelig wrote: 

An entrepreneur is someone who is always on the lookout for problems that can be turned into opportunities and finds creative ways to leverage limited resources to reach their goals. 

OPPORTUNITY IS HOW YOU SEE THINGS

Most times, what we see and how we see things determine whether we will take advantages of opportunities or not. At Jeremiah 1:11-12, God confronted Jeremiah and asked, “… Jeremiah, what seest thou?” Jeremiah replied, “I see a rod of an almond tree.” The LORD said to him, “Thou hast well seen: for I will hasten my word to perform it.”

Jesus encountered a man who was blind. Realizing that the man’s life was filled with restrictions, took him aside to restore his sight. At Mark 8:22-25 we read,  

And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw anything. He looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly. 

First, the man did not see as he ought to see. He saw men as trees. Jesus knew that he was not seeing clearly. He did what He did and the man’s sight was fully restored. He began to see clearly. I dare to ask you:

§ What do you see?

§ Who do you see? 

Where some people see problems, others see opportunities. Take a typical refuse dump for example – while some people, when they pass by refuse dumps close their nostrils, some persons upon seeing refuse dumps rush to them and begin to scavenge, looking for aluminum and metal scraps. Let me shock you – are you aware that a trailer load of aluminum scraps sells for about six million Naira while a truck load of metal scraps also fetches an owner millions of Naira? Winston S. Churchill said: 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” 

WHAT OPPORTUNITIES DO YOU SEEK - FOR SALARY OR FOR INCOME: SUBSISTENCE LIFE OR WEALTH - WHICH?   

What kind of life do you want to live? Are you satisfied with monthly pay cheque or do you want to be the person to determine your own pay cheque (income)? Think of the limitations of salary and opportunities inherent in self-employment. 

When you walk down your street or major roads, do take cognizance of imposing edifices and glimmering automobiles that are driven past by you and ask yourself, “Who own these - Salary earners or Income earners?” 

Even though, I do not denigrate salary neither do I venerate income, I want to say that salary is not the only approach to life and survival. Anyone who lives by banking on salary may die without earning any. We need to reconfigure our minds from earning salary to developing skills. Developing our individual capacities and becoming self-employed is the way to go not only in modern day Nigeria, but globally as well. 

God has endowed each of us with certain potentials, which are yearning to be harnessed. I encourage us to see what God has deposited inside us to become what He has created us to be. One way to do this is to make the needed sacrifice: 

1.Leave the Big League to play in the local league (What you are looking for in Sokoto are already in your Shokoto). For sure, there is a future is shoe cobbling. Everyone wants to start and to hit it “Big.” Ask yourself, “How did Gucci, Dolce and Gabana, etcetera start?”   

2.   There are opportunities in agriculture, ICT (Software development) and in the Services sector. 

STEPS TO BECOMING ENTREPRENEURIAL  

1. Have Faith In Yourself and In Your Abilities

Sometimes, the temptation is to doubt certain abilities that we are endowed with. The only way to overcome this is to keep doing what we are doing until we perfect the art. You must learn to have faith in your faith and to doubt your doubts.  Israelmore Ayivor wrote:

“Those who mistrust their own abilities are being too wicked to themselves, discouraging themselves from doing what they should have been excelling in. If you are good at discouraging yourself, you can't be a good leader because leadership is built on inspiring others to face challenges.” 

In his book, The Light in the Heart, Roy T. Bennett observed: 

“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself. Believe in yourself, your abilities and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.”  

2. Do What You Can With What You Have Where You Are

I encourage you to adopt the resolution that Edward Everett Hale had made. He wrote:

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” 

3. Search Yourself To Know What You Are Good At

The journey into entrepreneurship begins with self-evaluation. This journey is half completed when you know who you are and what you can do with who you are and what God has endowed you. It becomes challenging when you do not have any idea of what you have been wired with. Speaking to youths on an AIT Programme, TEEN TIME on Saturday, March 17, 2018, Isaac Success counseled: 

“Find your place and everything will fall into place. When you do, you will become the master of that place.”   

YOU ARE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITY-ARCHITECT OR ENEMY

Sometimes we think that our enemy or friend is someone else without realizing that we are our own best friend or worst enemy. As regards opportunities, we are our own architect or enemy. In his biography of Andrew Carnegie titled, The Wisdom of Andrew Carnegie, Napoleon Hill wrote: 

“If you will analyze those who cry, ‘No opportunity’ you will find that they are using this as an alibi for their own unwillingness to assume responsibilities and use their minds.” 

In his book, Achieve Anything In Just One Year, Jason Harvey observed: 

Your life is rich with possibility, and you are the only one who can discover the opportunities that will allow you to live your dreams. 

Writing in The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone, Peter Hollins wrote: 

“... when we allow ourselves to get too settled in a comfort zone ... you stop challenging yourself, and you become too satisfied and docile. It’s during that ‘waking sleep’ that opportunities start to slip away.” 

CONCLUSION

As I conclude this presentation, I encourage you to make every opportunity count every day, every hour, every minute and every second. I leave you with the following quotes: 

“A neglected opportunity is lost forever, and past omissions can never be supplied by future diligence. Therefore, work while it is called day.” - Samuel Davies

 

“... think on the fact that the seconds, minutes and hours that have gone by will never come back. That is why we have to make use of every opportunity - seizing every moment.” - Rexford Sam, Creating Your Future. 

God bless us all! 

Hilary Johnson Chukwuma Chukwurah (Evangelist)

Grand-Heritage Global Communications

Phone: +234 803 959 6919.

E-mail: hilaryjohnsonc@gmail.com.

 

EXPECTATIONS OF GOD FROM THE FAMILY OF A CHRISTIAN

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife (husband) of his (her) youth. – Malachi 2:15. 

Home is where the heart is. Because charity begins at home, family of a Christian should serve as a pulpit for church and community. In New Testament settings, homes of Christians were considered as extensions of the Church. This explains the concept of “Home church” or “Church in the home” that we read of at Romans 16:5 and I Corinthians 16:19. 

How each member of a family behaves goes a long way to affect or improve her collective testimony. As family goes, so go both Church and community. 

The responsibility of moderating family life rests squarely on the shoulders of a Christian husband and his wife. The man is considered Husband as well as House-band – meaning, he is both spouse and supporter of his wife and home. Failure of the family is blamed on him, but success of the family is his glory.

God expects men to be men, not just males. They must be men in their homes, not just males at home. The difference between males and men is simple: while males have all the physical features of the masculine gender, men have character, competence and capacity. Every man is a male but not every male is a man in the strictest sense of the word. 

While males are bossy, men lead with character: they are fair and firm. God needs men in every home to be people of character (rationale and uncompromising). 

PLACE OF CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN IN FAMILIES

Understanding the place of family in God’s scheme of things defines the roles of Christian men and women in families. The family is of great importance to God, considering that it is the bedrock of human society. Malachi 2:15 states why God established the home: 

“And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 

The purpose of God for the family is to raise Godly children. This explains why God was happy when Abraham fulfilled this Divine mandate. At Genesis 18:19 He said of Abraham,

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, that they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” 

When we do what God expects of us, He will do what we expect of Him. God expects families to serve as platforms for training and dissemination of His Will for mankind. For this reason, family should be a place where God is honoured, obeyed and worshipped; a place which demonstrates knowledge of God and radiates His glory. 

We need more families like that where Timothy was nurtured in the fear and admonition of the Lord (II Timothy 1:5; II Timothy 3:15); where children learn God’s ordinances, and are prepared to be positive change-agents that our world desperately needs.

As major stakeholders, Christian men and women are expected to set appropriate examples of worship, obedience and guidance in their families. When men fulfill their responsibilities of being Christian men/husbands and Christian women care for their families with decorum, chastity and virtue, we would be on our way to unleashing an army of well-groomed children who will transform their societies. 

Duties of men in their homes are to make provisions for the well-being of their families (I Timothy 5:8) while women do the noble work of caring for each member of their homes. Together, they provide support. 

Fraternal cohesion of Christian families is one of the most powerful testimonies of hope to a world fragmented by wrong value systems and unguided moral persuasions. 

It is the family that moderates the moral and spiritual tones of both Church and society. If families churn out miscreants, Church and society are negatively affected, but if they churn out godly children, Church and society are made better. Therefore, raising godly children and stabilizing societies are the greatest roles of Christian men and women in families. 

FAMILY OF A CHRISTIAN AND OFFSPRING OF THE UNION

Part of the roles of Christian parents is to enthrone a culture of moral excellence in their offspring by teaching them to uphold family and Godly values. In his book, Judges: Survival Skills For Concerned Christians, Bruce McLarty (1997:10) wrote: 

One of my favourite bits of child-rearing advice comes from a man who says that as a parent, he is not rearing children. That is simply too shortsighted for him. Instead, he claims that his job is to train the parents of his grandchildren. 

In her book, Parenting and Society, Dor. Nkem Ezenwanne (2018:18) quotes Susan, a mother as saying: 

“I believe that our job as parents is to civilize our young, and provide society with decent, moral citizens.”

As a parent, your duty is to make the lives of your children count for God - to become who they were created to be. A few Biblical examples will suffice:   

Example of The Rechabites

Teach your children to have culture and to stand by it. Families should be known for what they believe. A family with rock-solid character is an asset not only to the Church, but to the nation, which makes God happy. The Rechabites stand as a clear testimony on this. Culture was enthroned by grandfather, children and grandchildren upheld it with vice-like integrity. Jeremiah 35:1-14 tells us: 

 

The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord in the days of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, saying, “Go to the house of the Rechabites, speak to them, and bring them into the house of the Lord, into one of the chambers, and give them wine to drink.” Then I took Jaazaniah the son of Jeremiah, the son of Habazziniah, his brothers and all his sons, and the whole house of the Rechabites, and I brought them into the house of the Lord, into the chamber of the sons of Hanan the son of Igdaliah, a man of God, which was by the chamber of the princes, above the chamber of Maaseiah the son of Shallum, the keeper of the door. Then I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites bowls full of wine, and cups; and I said to them, “Drink wine.” But they said, “We will drink no wine, for Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, commanded us, saying, ‘You shall drink no wine, you nor your sons, forever.… Thus, we have obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, in all that he charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, or our daughters, …. But we have dwelt in tents, and have obeyed and done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us. But it came to pass, when Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came up into the land, that we said, ‘Come, let us go to Jerusalem for fear of the army of the Chaldeans and for fear of the army of the Syrians.’ So we dwell at Jerusalem.” Then came the word of the Lord to Jeremiah, saying, “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: ‘Go and tell the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, “Will you not receive instruction to obey My words?” says the Lord. “The words of Jonadab the son of Rechab, which he commanded his sons, not to drink wine, are performed; for to this day they drink none, and obey their father’s commandment. But although I have spoken to you, rising early and speaking, you did not obey Me.” 

I have noticed that someone can be righteously disobedient to God. When Peter was told, “Rise up, kill and eat,” he said, “Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is unclean.” (Acts 10: 13-15). 

Some people would have jumped at the slightest opportunity to have a drinking spree. Imagine a prophet with stellar character in the person of Jeremiah telling his congregants in the House of the Lord that God had instructed them to drink. Any other family could jump at this opportunity, but not the Rechabites. They told Prophet Jeremiah to his face: 

“We will not because it is not in our character to. Our forefathers commanded us not to and we will not!”       

God was impressed and so used the Rechabites as an example to the whole Nation of Israel. You will be considered a successful parent when your children have the culture of saying, “No!” when pressured to do what they were taught are wrong.    

Example of Daughters of Zelophehad

Teach your children to be audacious and positive change-agents. Daughters of Zelophehad were. They would not have been if they were not taught to be. 

I pity men and women who do not raise their daughters the way their daughters should be raised or being disappointed that they have only daughters rather than sons because one quality daughter is far better than one thousand useless sons.    

Being Christians does not translate to being cowardly. You have to know when to demand for what belongs to you. When pitched to the wall, Apostle Paul demanded for what was his in a very audacious manner. Acts 22:23-29 tells us: 

And as they were crying out and throwing off their cloaks and tossing dust into the air, the commander ordered him to be brought into the barracks, stating that he should be examined by scourging so that he might find out the reason why they were shouting against him that way. But when they stretched him out with thongs, Paul said to the centurion who was standing by, “Is it lawful for you to scourge a man who is a Roman and uncondemned?” When the centurion heard this, he went to the commander and told him, saying, “What are you about to do? For this man is a Roman.” The commander came and said to him, “Tell me, are you a Roman?” And he said, “Yes.” The commander answered, “I acquired this citizenship with a large sum of money.” And Paul said, “But I was actually born a citizen.” Therefore those who were about to examine him immediately let go of him; and the commander also was afraid when he found out that he was a Roman, and because he had put him in chains. 

Do not let people take you for a ride – demand for your right, but do so with grace and tact. Numbers 27:1-8 tells us about amazing audacious girls who were positive change-agents: 

Then the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph, came near; and these are the names of his daughters: Mahlah, Noah and Hoglah and Milcah and Tirzah. They stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the leaders and all the congregation, at the doorway of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness, yet he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah; but he died in his own sin, and he had no sons. “Why should the name of our father be withdrawn from among his family because he had no son? Give us a possession among our father’s brothers.” So Moses brought their case before the LORD. Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “The daughters of Zelophehad are right in their statements. You shall surely give them a hereditary possession among their father’s brothers, and you shall transfer the inheritance of their father to them. Further, you shall speak to the sons of Israel, saying, ‘If a man dies and has no son, then you shall transfer his inheritance to his daughter.’” 

Instill courage in your children. No matter their gender, teach them to value their opinions and to cause positive changes wherever they are. If not for the courageous courage of Zelophehad’s daughters, a longstanding culture of deprivations and discriminations in Israel would not have been changed.    

I do not know the negative cultures that define your community and environment. If you want to make a positive change, raise an army of positive change-agents.    

Example of Daniel and His Friends

Teach your children to have character and to stand on what they believe in wherever they are. One of the ways to know when you have raised a child with character is when he/she is out of your radar. 

Daniel and his friends were taken out of their homes in Israel into a far country where the True God was not worshipped and where there was no one to look over their shoulders. But because their parents planted the fear of God in them, they moderated their lives in a foreign land where “freedom” was everything that young people needed. Daniel 1:3-8 tells us:

Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility -  young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service. Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego. But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. (NIV)

We all know the story of what happened after. What was the staying power of these young people? While in their homes, their parents succeeded in planting the fear of God and His Presence in them. This was a great insurance, which guaranteed that they would not misbehave and should they for any reason misbehave, would quickly retrace their steps. 

Teach your children to be God-conscious (II Chronicles 16:9; Proverbs 15:3; Hebrews 4:13). Make this a major part of their personal cultures. God’s consciousness would keep them from messing around and muddling up their morality by sowing wild oaths (Exodus 20:20; Genesis 39:9). Nothing satisfies and more assuring than knowing that your children are God-fearing; that they will not compromise their morality and Faith; that they will not let peer pressure or any kind of pressure to “give that which is holy to dogs nor pearls to swine” (Matthew 7:6).

Teach them to treasure their valuables. One Bible passage that best speaks of parental influence and the impacts it has on our young is found in Song of Solomon 8:8-10:  

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar. “I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.” 

This is awesome! In the above passage, siblings of a young girl were afraid that she would compromise her morality, saying that if she were to be a wall (impregnable), they would build upon her battlement of silver (honour her) but if she were to be a door (public utility – people going in and coming out), they would inclose her. Expectedly, the young girl stated, “I am a wall….” 

Can we train our children to be God-fearing and uncompromising? Godly children are their parents’ pride. 

God expects the family of Christians to teach their children to have dignity. Anyone with dignity has a strong moral base (foundation). No one with dignity would cheapen himself or herself even for all the gold in the world (Genesis 39:6-13). If a child has dignity he/she would become a wall, not a door, an exclusive reserve, not everybody’s property (Songs of Solomon 8:8-10). 

PARENTING IS TOUGH BUSINESS

In his book, The Strong Family: Growing Wise in Family Life, Chuck Swindoll (1991:10) tells the story of Charlie Shedd. Before he became a father, Mr. Shedd held public speaking engagements. He titled his presentation, “How To Raise Your Children.” His seminars attracted large audiences. Then Mr. Shedd became a father. After a while, he organized another seminar on the same subject under a different title, “Some Suggestions To Parents.” After several children later, he changed the title of his message to, “Feeble Hints to Fellow Strugglers.” After this, he seldom gave that message. However, when he did years later, his theme was, “Anyone Here Got A Few Words of Wisdom?” 

It is not easy being a parent because parenting is not a tea-party affair. It is as serious as seriousness. As a parent, your business is to mould characters and to define destinies. As a parent, you are a caretaker. One day, you are going to give account of each of your children to God (cf. Hebrews 2:13).   

WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF A CHRISTIAN MAN 

Take Care of Your Family

The power to feed is the power to lead. No man who is worth his salt as a man can afford not to do his duties of providing for his family (I Timothy 5:8). Times are hard and the economy tough, I agree. However, I assure you that when you do your best, your family would know that you are doing your best. Do not be an absentee father and never abandon your duty posts. 

It is the duty of a father to save up for his children, not the other way (II Corinthians 12:14). Succinctly stated, a good father bequeaths wealth to his children (Proverbs 19:14a). 

You must wake up and take care of your family materially. You must wake up and take care of your family physically. You must wake up and take care of your family spiritually. Success or failure of your family rests squarely on your shoulders.    

As a man, you must provide leadership. A good leader leads from the front, not from behind. In view of this, you must show example. The power of personal example is powerful. What your children see you do is what they will likely do. Your house is your children’s learning ground. When a goat chews curd, its young watches. Edgar A. Guest described the power of example in his award-winning poem, I Rather See A Sermon: 

I would rather see a Sermon each day than to hear one. 

I would rather that you lead me than merely show the way….

 WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF A CHRISTIAN WOMAN

Support Your Husband

From the word, “Go,” women were created as “helpmeet.” While a husband is the head of the house, his wife is the shoulder. As a Christian woman, you should never sabotage your husband. Be Submissive To Him In The Will of God whether he is poor or rich, handsome or ugly, educated or an illiterate. 

As a helpmeet, you should support him physically, morally, emotionally and spiritually. Be the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 to your husband.  

COLLABORATE TO SUCCEED AS A FAMILY

To achieve success at the home front as a family, a Christian man and a Christian woman must collaborate to ensure that what God expects of them are realized. Mike Udam (2014) wrote that Christian men and women should take care of each other as they seek to play their roles effectively. He wrote that a husband should:     

• Provide for his wife’s needs.
• Show interest in her health and how she is feeling at any particular point in time.
• Show interest in helping her family. 
• Make her feel the way she was feeling when he was courting her.
• Surprise her with gifts once in a while
• Meet her emotional needs.
• Criticize her privately, rebuke her gently.
• Make her feel important.
• Share his dreams and visions with her.
• Be transparent in his financial dealings.
• Have strong shoulders to take care of the needs of his children.
• Pray for his wife’s success daily.
• Protect and defend his wife.

For the Christian woman in the home, Brother Udam wrote that she should:

• Listen to her husband’s instructions at all times, except when it conflicts with plain teachings of God’s Word.
• Consider him as “lord” or “master” as well the driver of the family bus.
• Consult with him before executing any of her decisions that can impact on the family.
• Work with him in child discipline.
• Seek approval from him before any major financial transactions are undertaken.
• Never criticize his leadership style publicly.
• Never deny him his emotional entitlements.
• Take time to listen to him well before reacting.
• Help to cover his nakedness and not to make announcements about it.
• Pray for his success daily.
• Have strong shock absorbers to accommodate his mistakes as the family bus is in motion.

CONCLUSION

When we live to fulfill God’s expectations of us, He will be honoured in our lives and families. May God give us the grace to meet His expectations of us as far as family life is concerned.

 Thank you.    

REFERENCES

Bruce McLarty, B. (1997). Judges: Survival Skills For Concerned Christians. Arkansas, USA: Truth for Today.   

Ezenwanne, Dor. A. B. (2018). Parenting and Society. Enugu: Grand-Heritage Global Communications. 

Swindoll, C. (1991). The Strong Family: Growing Wise in Family Life. Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing. 

Udam, Mike (2014). Messages For The 21^st Century Man. Nsukka: Grand-Heritage Global Communications.